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Pink Pilot

For your reading pleasure, here is a previously unknown story of how the Pink Lady website almost resulted in my getting that legendary fifteen minutes of fame as part of an honest to gosh motion picture. That’s right, folks, a movie! So, kick back, relax, and I’ll tell you all about it.

 In the summer of 2000, I received an email from Mark Schaefer, an independent filmmaker (and former Philly area resident) who lived out in California. In his message, he mentioned how he became a fan of Pink Lady after watching the ill-fated 1980 TV show the girls did with Jeff Altman, and, after discovering my website and viewing the feature I had done in March on the 20th anniversary of the show (Pink Primetime), that gave Mark the amazingly ambitious idea to shoot a documentary film on the show, called “Pink Lady Time” and, that as the biggest PL fan in the States, he wanted to include me in his film! Needless to say, I was both shocked and surprised, I mean, the idea of my actually being in a film was absolutely unheard of, especially since I’ve always been of the belief that I had a face tailor made for radio. Still, the idea of being a part of Mark’s film was highly intriguing, so I said yes. Happy to have my cooperation, Mark promised me a very special surprise for my part in his film project.

 After more correspondence to iron out the logistics of his trip from the left coast to Philly, Mark arrived at my house on a Tuesday morning in early October 2000 along with his cameraman to film my contribution to his project. I had displayed all my PL memorabilia (along with the framed posters on my living room wall) for Mark to see, and he was suitably impressed with what I had shown him. Right away, he started filming, asking me all about how I first discovered Mie and Kei when I was in Japan, what attracted me to the girls, my opinions on the TV show, and the motivation behind the Internet shrine I created for them. For the most part, I felt perfectly comfortable and at ease in front of the camera, Admittedly, I didn’t expect that, but I enjoyed the experience nonetheless. Mark presented the surprise he promised me: a VHS tape of the unaired pilot episode of Pink Lady & Jeff, something I never knew existed. During the filming, I watched the pilot with Mark and was quite amazed with what I saw.

 Most of the elements that became part of the show during it’s six week run were seen during the twenty-three minute long pilot filmed before a live studio audience: Jeff’s inane opening monologue (complete with a pratfall); Mie and Kei coming out on stage in kimonos which they removed to display sexy outfits for their number (sailor suits for The Village People’s “In The Navy”); the girls and their goofy, post-song chat with Jeff; a few short skits, complete with two of Jeff’s semi-memorable characters: Leonard Moon (the boxer who didn’t have the brains of an ice cube) and the wacky televangelist whom I came to call “Reverend Pompadour”. That was followed by more chatting, another song, a coming attractions montage, and lastly, the ever famous ending where Mie and Kei, having shed their evening gowns for bikinis drag a reluctant, tuxedo clad Jeff into a hot tub where he began to enjoy himself until a scowling sumo wrestler spoiled his fun and the girls bidding the audience a cheery “Good night!”

 I found the video to have been remarkable stuff that I thoroughly enjoyed, mainly because of Mie and Kei, not Jeff. The pilot was pretty much a paint by numbers template for how the show itself would be (whether or not that was a good thing will be forever open to debate), the only changes being the addition of the Peacock Dancers and the three comedians (including the late Jim Varney) who became part of the cast. As I mentioned, Mark filmed my reactions to the video and I grinned and chuckled almost the whole time, even silently muttering lines I had become familiar with from watching the show. But I digress. Mark spent the better part of three hours with me and we both had a good time. A little before one p.m., Mark had left, promising to keep in touch about developments with his “Pink Lady Time” project, saying he thought it showed promise as a documentary film that would be shown in art houses and the like or maybe going direct to video, and that my contribution would be a key component.

 Around early spring of 2001, Mark emailed to tell me he had shown the footage around in Hollywood, saying that my part in the film had been well received (Wow! Fancy that! Perhaps I might have a career in show business after all! Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up!) and that he was trying to line up financing to make his film a reality, adding that getting the money was the hardest part of the job. If memory serves, I think Mark was even flirting with the idea of trying to contact Mie and Kei over in Japan and getting them involved with the film. That was almost seven years ago, and I haven’t heard from him since. I had an email address that Mark provided me, but it’s long since gone useless, and without any other means of contacting him (Lord knows I’m not hard to get in touch with), I have no way of knowing what happened to his “Pink Lady Time” project. Was it scrapped because Mark couldn’t get financing? Is he still working on it? I’m totally in the dark, and that’s a shame. It could’ve been great stuff.

 But, I still have the video which I’ve been sitting on for over seven years and recorded onto DVD. And while Mark told me to keep it a secret (the reason he gave eludes me after all this time), I think it’s safe to say the statute of limitations on that secrecy has expired. While my footage from Mark’s film might never see the light of day, here’s two pages worth of stills from the PL & J pilot for you to peruse. I think you’ll find what I have to present to be both enlightening, and fun as well. Enjoy!

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